Naked people. Occasional cats and ponies. Frequent sarcasm. A few unpopular opinions.

You don't need to be 18 to browse this blog. Just be cool.
Photos  •  Gifs  •  Videos  •  Things I've said  •  Questions I've answered  •  Diary
My favourite animal  •  My 2nd favourite animal  •  Cat stories
Permalink

Anonymous said: Could you please elaborate on your "impossibly high standards"? :)

I didn’t know how many points I actually had on that list until I met her. Before that I just knew that no-one was interesting or ”good” enough, not even close. I got to test this when I created an OkCupid profile a while ago. Not to look for company, obviously, but just to see if I could find any matches. When I was answering the questions I soon noticed that I had to make a lot of them mandatory so that the algorithm would only accept people that had given the ”right” answer and nothing else. I didn’t even answer that many questions but the results were clear: what I was looking for didn’t exist, at least on OkCupid which according to my quick research claims to have millions of users. That probably makes me a freak, not them.

When I’m being myself, not pretending to be anything else, I can be difficult to deal with. I’m very rigid in my ways and I can’t adapt or compromise that much or if I do I’m not happy. I’m a difficult person. It takes a lot for me to like someone and seek their company. I needed someone who I could look up to, someone that I could place above myself in my inner hierarchy. Someone who I could be myself with, someone who could put up with me. These people are blue lobsters. I can’t believe that Pixie exists and that I met her.

8 notes
Tagged: answers words
Permalink

Anonymous said: So before you'd fallen in love with Pixie, you had no intention of finding love? A relationship? A partner? What was your plan at that point in your life?

I wouldn’t use the word “intention” here. I simply thought that I would never meet anyone I could fall in love with. I was 25 years old when I met Pixie. I think that most people have fallen in love or have had at least a crush by the time they are 25. That’s something that never happened to me. I was never romantically interested in anyone, at all. I never actually truly wanted anyone - something that I realised only after I met Pixie and learned what lust meant and felt like.

I didn’t have a grand plan. All I wanted was to have a life of my own and that plan didn’t include having a wife because I was certain that no-one would ever want me and that no-one would ever meet my impossibly high standards.

9 notes
Tagged: answers words me
Permalink

I’m wearing a zebra turban and I look like I could be on the cover of Vogue. I just thought y’all should know…

17 notes
Tagged: words
Permalink

strangleholdclimax:

Foxy was acting like a monkey so I threw my vibrator at him. He dodged it and it hit the marble floor. Now it doesn’t work. It was my favourite, the red Lelo Mona. I understand that I probably shouldn’t be trying to murder people by throwing things but I still think that he should pay because of the way he laughed. I haven’t seen a smile that wide in a while. He even jumped up and down a bit and clapped his hands because he was so happy that it broke. He belongs in a kennel or some ape sanctuary.

I just wanted you to know what kind of person he really is. A broken vibrator should always be treated as a tragedy. Always. I need more people for Team Pixie. Don’t lose yourself to the dark side.

Propaganda.

35 notes
Tagged: words
From   strangleholdclimax
Permalink

hornyshihtzu said: Ha, I promised not to send you any more 30 day challenges but I found a few interesting questions that I hope you could answer when you have time. 1. If you were old enough and not in a situation where it would be inappropriate, would you sleep with one of your (past) school teachers/professors? 2. If you could get away with one murder in your lifetime without any legal, social, or emotional repercussions, would you kill someone? 3. Could you fall in love with someone you thought was ugly?

1. No, because I don’t want to have sex with anybody else but Pixie and none of my past teachers was even that hot. But to be honest, I’ve slept with my English teacher and my ballet teacher. But that was then. (I wasn’t even old enough.)

2. Yes.

3. I assume that by falling in love you mean romantic/sexual love. The answer to that is no. This question is kind of incompatible with me, though, because I’ve fallen in love only once in my life.

I think that everyone I love is beautiful but maybe that’s because I love them. Once you start loving someone they start looking more beautiful to you. And then again, if you’re a model but you happen to be a total bitch I will feel disgusted by your face no matter what your models.com ranking is.

7 notes
Tagged: answers words
Permalink

One my guilty pleasures is to go to a chatroom and use my name, Foxy. The first time I did it I didn’t realise that it could have been considered misleading because I’m so used to it; I’ve been Foxy since I was 5 years old. Soon I found out that most men thought that I was female. Nowadays I do it for fun. I log in with my name, a lot of guys start talking to me and mostly they just assume that I’m a woman and don’t ask. And because they don’t ask, I don’t tell. If they ask I never lie, though. The funniest part is when at some point they count 1 + 1 (I’m 6ft5, I’m married to a woman etc.) and have this infantile rage attack because they can’t believe that they’ve just had an hour-long stimulating, entertaining conversation with a man. It hurts their tiny balls so much that sometimes I get teary-eyed from laughing. Sexually insecure straight men are the funniest shit ever.

39 notes
Tagged: words i should update my chat tag
Permalink

sinning-as-always said: How do you feel about S/M?

The thought of hurting Pixie, even if she asked me to, is deeply upsetting. But I like to be punished sometimes. Certains forms of violence please me, but I wouldn’t let anybody else do it.

4 notes
Tagged: answers words me
Permalink

Anonymous said: What are your thoughts on infidelity? Are you ever worried Pixie will cheat? How would you react if she did?

I’m not worried. Pixie is an honest person. If she wasn’t happy she would tell me, and then we’d try to fix things. If she cheated on me I’d be shocked because we’re so happy and I think that our sex life is amazing. And of course it would make me very sad.

But she would never ever do that.

Cheating is for losers.

6 notes
Tagged: answers words
Permalink

Anonymous said: Do you believe in soul mates?

No.

7 notes
Tagged: answers words
Permalink

I keep beating my own record. Premature ejaculation is the sport. I’m getting pretty good at this. I am a sex God.

29 notes
Tagged: words
Permalink

Anonymous said: Are you a morning person or a night howl?

17 notes
Tagged: answers words
Permalink

Anonymous said: Foxinator, in which subject did you earn your PhD? :)

Penis puppetry.

10 notes
Tagged: answers words
Permalink

Anonymous said: Mikä on vaikeinta suomenkielessä?

Rektio, koska niissä ei ole mitään helvetin järkeä.

1 note
Tagged: answers words
Permalink

The gig was awesome. Sex was awesome too up until the A/C stopped working.

14 notes
Tagged: words Madrid Spain sweat blood tears
Permalink
http://yourmoansareasymphony.tumblr.com/post/92073701007/tomorrow-were-going-to-spain-and-then-finland-so

Tomorrow we’re going to Spain and then Finland so, see you in a week, maybe. I probably won’t be answering messages before we get back home.

577 notes
Tagged: cats words
From   derpycats